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 A Bad Apology Is Worse Than No Apology

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jkarlo88
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PostSubject: A Bad Apology Is Worse Than No Apology   Sat Dec 20, 2008 5:47 pm

halfhearted or insincere apologies are often worse than not apologizing at all because recepients find them insulting.

if you have done something wrong in your dealings with another person, it's as if there's an infection in your relationship.

a good apology is like an antibiotic; a bad apology is like rubbing salt in the wound.

here are two classic bad apologies:

1) "i am sorry you feel hurt by what i've done." (this is an attempt at an emotional salve, but it's obvious you dont want to put any medicine in the wound.)

2) "i apologize for what i did, but you also need to apologize to me for what youve done." (that's not giving an apology. that is asking for one.)

proper apologies have 3 parts:
1) what i did wrong.
2) i feel badly that i hurt you.
3) how do i make this better?

some may take advantage of you when answering question number three. but most people will genuinely appreciative of your make good efforts. they may tell you how to make it better in some small , easy way. and often, they will work harder to help make things better themselves.

now what if you apologize and the other person doesn't apologize back? easy, that is not something you can control, so dont let it eat you

if other people owe you an apology, and your words of apology to them are proper and heartfelt, you still may not hear from them for a while. after all, what are the odds that they get to the right emotional place to apologize at the exact moment you do so? so just be patient. your patience will be both appreciated and rewarded.
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